Practice Agreements

Create Trust

• Confidentiality. Keep confidential everything that you hear in your Dyad.

• Give your full attention in listening.

• Dyads are just for Dyads — do not plan to interact with Dyad partners outside the Dyads, or try to initiate romantic or business relationships with dyad partners.

• Do not make comments about your partner (e.g. appearance, how much you like them as a partner), or what your partner shares, even if your comments are intended to be positive.

• Do not use your partner as a topic for difficult emotions or gratitude.

• No advice-giving.

• Do not discuss violent or traumatic situations. While talking through these situations can be helpful, the Dyad is not set up to support working with these subjects.

• Take responsibility for your feelings and needs. During the Dyad and in communicating about Dyads, be aware of what you are feeling and take responsibility for what you need.

• It's okay to bow out. If something feels off to you about your partner's behavior, it's okay to leave a Dyad or to communicate with your partner that you don't wish to continue being partners. If your partner communicates this to you, respect their wishes, don't try to change their mind, and reflect in your own time if there is anything for you to learn from the situation.

Keep to the Structure

• Keep to the script & timing exactly as outlined. Ask the questions exactly as written, but speak from the heart.

• Do not change wording or timing.

• It's okay to interrupt your partner when it's time to proceed to the next step. If no bell or sound is present to indicate the end of time, you can say a simple "Thank you" or "Thank you, that's time," then move to the next step of the practice.

• Do not slip into casual conversation.

• Don't use nonverbal feedback to communicate with your partner. Some nonverbal reactions to what your partner shares are natural, but avoid using them to "comment" on your partner's shares (e.g., nodding in order to show your partner you agree with them).

• Partners do a minimum of 5 dyads per week.

Make Focused Space

• Be on time
• No multitasking
• No interruptions
• No eating
• No drinking
• No driving during Dyads
• No other people nearby
• Make a good digital connection. Do your best to create a setup with good internet, audio, and video.

Best Practices

Suggestions for how to get the most out of the Dyad

• Explore bodily feelings, not just the story or thoughts about what happened. Much of the power of the practice comes from connecting with direct embodied experience of emotions.

• Allow for silence. It's okay to have silence before you start sharing your situation, and it's okay to have silence during your sharing. Silence can give us space to feel more deeply, and for new insights to emerge.

• Don't plan ahead. Don't plan ahead for what you will share in your Dyad. After you hear the question asked, see what comes up for you in the moment.

• Use challenges as fuel for practice. If you notice challenges socially or emotionally with any part of the practice (e.g., scheduling, listening without speaking), use these as reflection for your growth. Remember that the Dyad is about practicing self-awareness and interpersonal skills. Use challenges to reflect on what you're feeling, what you need, and if need be how you communicate this with others.

• Notice the quality of your listening. As the listener, notice the quality of your listening. The patterns of what happens when you listen in the Dyad (e.g. presence, distraction, worry on the others' behalf, judgment) probably also occur in your everyday life. As you notice your patterns in listening, you can become curious about the patterns and learn more about yourself.